Reality Check

When I had my son three months ago, the midwives immediately put his naked body on my almost bare chest (after a decent wipe down, of course!) to implement skin-to-skin. Throughout our stay at the hospital over the next week, the midwives would always check in and ask me whether I had implemented skin-to-skin during the day. When I asked my father about the importance of it (who also happens to be a doctor), he said it was to do with contact. "Like us, babies need affection and touch." It made me think in depth about how making contact with another plays an important part in our primal DNA. We live in a digital age, where connecting to 'friends' on Facebook, or seeing how many people liked our Instagram post, or how many Twitter followers we have, takes president over really catching up with someone. In person. Even voice-to-voice has gone out of style. Who, besides yourself, even calls anymore? I know I prefer it and opt for it over texting any day! (Although it has become a little harder to have a decent conversation these days due to my newborn. Such is life.) I've often been at a cafe where I'll see two young girls- hair all done and dressed to impress- sitting directly opposite each other, and rather than talking, laughing and being social, their phones will be out and their faces will be buried in it. If they were going to partake in such an anti-social activity then they should have stayed home, in their track pants and slippers, rather than wast their time getting ready to go out.

Connecting is important. It's healthy. It promotes adequate social skills, laughter, friendship, profound thinking, the sharing of opinions, love, and it makes you feel good! It saddens me to see the generation under mine so socially inept, believing that connecting to the internet via their smart phones is more important than connecting to the person directly opposite them. Phones at the dining table are still rude, people! And it's not very lady like having a personal conversation within ear-shot of others, or having your thumbs hysterically tap dancing on the surface of your phone and calling it typing. Unless you're expecting a very important phone call, or your partner is having your baby "any day now", or you're awaiting that infamous apocalyptic phone call and just really 'want to be prepared', then you do not need to place your phone within eye-shot of your water glass. That flat little brick of radiation can go on silent and in your handbag, please!

So, what am I trying to say? Connect. I mean, really connect. Find pockets of time to connect in your everyday life. 

• Connect to your baby. Hold them as much as possible. Soon, they'll be too big to hold. Watch them while they feed. Look into their innocent, little eyes and send love and positive thoughts towards them. (Okay, you're excused from the dream feed when it's 3 A.M. and their eyes are closed anyways.) Don't look at your phone!
• Connect to your true friends. Arrange to meet for a high tea, a luncheon, or even a power catch up, for those on a tight schedule. Or go to a dance class/gym/yoga session together. I know you want to, but put that phone away.
• Connect to your parents- if you like your parents that is. Do regular dinners, catch up to watch your favourite TV show together or go to a movie with parents. Book clubs are also great if you read similar literature to your folks and it promotes discussions. Are you looking at your phone?
• Connect with your siblings- again, if you like your siblings that is. Catch a movie with them, watch your favourite TV show together, or better yet, do a weekly face mask with them! Who better to see you with that green clay on your face than the person who's already seen you at your best and worst throughout your entire life! Leave that phone alone.
• Connect with your partner. It's easy to get lost in the mundane of a comfortable relationship. Have a date night, eat at least one meal a day together where the TV is not on in the background and is replaced with music instead. In the mornings before you get out of bed, have a quick check-in, or when you get home from work, have a little run down of your days. Hug. I know it's hard, but don't look at your phone.
• Connect with yourself. This is an important one. I truly believe that if you don't respect, love and accept yourself than you cannot truly give those things to others. Find 10 minutes in your day to connect to yourself. Meditate in the morning before you begin your day…or at night just before bed time. Grab a chai latte and take a stroll along the beach- the negative ions have great cleansing qualities. Stretch before you go to sleep to release the tension of the day from your body. Breath. Look at yourself in the mirror during your routine nightly treatments and be grateful for what you have, not pick at what you don't. Turn your phone off. It may feel foreign, but it's good for both yourself and your phones battery life!

Remember to not look at your phone! Really dedicate that time you've set aside to connect to connect. And remember to smile and laugh…a lot. Life's too serious already without us needing to weigh it down even more!